He couldn’t believe that he’d landed such a lucrative contract.
The public’s demand for the repair of domestic appliances had dropped off of late, so the job couldn’t have come up at a better time. As a rule, electrical appliances were his thing and this job was a long way from fixing hair dryers and toasters, but if it was electrical, he could fix it. The morning he started at the observatory, one of the chief scientists was on hand to explain what was needed. The recently purchased Blue Beam guidance system required recalibrating. Apparently, it had been knocked about a bit during its transport from overseas. The astronomer said he was heading up a specialist group of cosmologists that were currently studying globular clusters. He said that a cluster is made up of a huge number of stars all tightly bound together.
He went on to describe how there were well over a hundred of these clusters spread across the Milky Way. This system would allow them to accurately target a specific cluster, rather like a laser beam on a rifle, it would provide them with a very accurate visual reference point. He said it was similar to a laser beam, but different. Like the laser it stimulates molecules to emit light, but this blue beam has a far greater range of both wavelength and amplification.
He pointed out that the staff there were really excited about the new piece of equipment and couldn’t wait to have a go with it. With that, the scientist handed him the maintenance manual and left, saying he’d make sure he wasn’t disturbed. He couldn’t help thinking that these people were like a bunch of children getting excited about playing with a new toy.
After looking over the various components and checking that everything was plugged in properly, he read through the manual. He went through the section dealing with recalibration twice. The written instructions were not very helpful. He tried to figure out where the manual had come from. Wherever it was, English was obviously not the writer’s first language.
After tinkering with the various controls for a while he decided to give it a trial run. Having selected a particularly attractive ball of speckled light, he double-checked the screen to ensure that the star field was lined up accurately. He pressed the large activation button and watched the monitor. There was a bright flash and that precise segment of the Milky Way he’d been looking at was now completely black!
Looking back at the digital panel for the cluster locator, he studied the figures he’d punched in for the beam strength and wondered whether he’d put the decimal point in the wrong place. Well, several places, actually. He had the uncomfortable feeling he had inadvertently vaporized one of their clusters. It was just as well he’d been told that scientists believed that the area in question was entirely uninhabited.
Despite that, he knew that the next time their telescope was swung round to look at that specific cluster, there’d be one hell of a stink!
In future, he’d stick to washing machines.