Alphabet Tales – Egg

It was an ordinary enough room, except for the clocks.

On that particular evening, the visitor felt quite honoured to be invited into the retired professor’s study, and when the first clock caught his eye, a large dinner plate with a knife and fork for hands, he found himself looking around for more. The professor sat behind his desk grinning.

“Um, you don’t mind do you?” asked the visitor, suddenly aware of his snooping around.

“Not at all. Let’s see what you make of them.”

He counted seven of them, all having quite bizarre designs and all showing different times. He studied each of the remainder. One had dominoes for the hours, others had the hour and minute hands set on a dartboard, a large cog, a slice of toast, a fried egg and an eyeball. He also noticed that each of them had small labels, some green and some red. They each had a number. The smallest was ‘two’ and the largest, ‘seventeen’. Knowing that the owner of these queer wall pieces was, at one time, a mathematics professor, he knew that they had to mean something, but he couldn’t’ figure out what that something could be.

He was jolted out of his musings by the other’s question.

“Well, what do you think?”

“OK. Well, as far as I can see, all of these rather unusual looking clocks show different times, although none of them would be too far out.” With that his hand went to his pocket, knowing that his phone would tell him what time it actually was.

“No!” the other exclaimed. “Preferred it if you didn’t. That would be counterproductive, don’t you think?”

“Counterproductive?”

“Yes, it would go against the aim of the thing.”

“The aim? What exactly is the aim?”

The professor smiled. “To tell the time, of course.”

The visitor looked back at the clocks.

“Notice anything else?” the professor asked, hoping for more.

“I did note the labels of course.” He moved forward to study one of them. “This one for instance. The label is red and has the number four.” He paused. “This could mean that it’s four minutes slow, I suppose.”

“Bravo!” The professor clapped. “Yes, indeed! Red for slow and green for fast.”

“Does that help you to tell the time?”

“Oh! Yes,” cam the enthusiastic reply, “but you do need the formula.”

The visitor stared around the room. “Yes, you would have to have a formula.”

“Actually,” the professor went on, “it’s more of an algorithm. It’s just a simple procedure for solving a mathematical problem, as you know. Can I show you?”

The visitor sat down at the desk while the other produced a sheet of paper. The visitor studied the words and symbols neatly set out in a numbered list.

After a minute or two, the professor said, “Care to try it? You need to wait until they all tick over. They are all set to the world clock by the way. Then you jot them all down quickly, remembering you have sixty seconds to do it. When that’s done, you just use the algorithm. Simple!”

Intrigued, but at the same time uncertain about whether he could remember enough to apply the formula, said with caution in his tone, “I’ll have a crack at it, if you like.”

The other beamed. “Good man.” Handing him a small notepad and pen, he said, “When you’re ready.”

The visitor stood, silently waiting for all of the clocks to tick. All minute hands jumped in unison and he quickly recorded all of the times.

He sat back down.

It took some time to work it all out, using the algorithm provided. Finally, noting the original time of the closest clock, he calculated how much time had passed and adjusted his answer to bring it to the present time. His answer was 08:14. He handed the notebook to the professor, who quickly went through his figures and calculations.

The professor reached across the table and extended his hand, saying, “Well done, I concur.”

At that moment, the visitor only just heard a single, soft chime from somewhere behind him. The professor, still looking over the figures, didn’t seem to notice it. When he looked back, the visitor spotted a high yet narrow door, in the corner of the room. The professor looked up and saw the other staring at it.

His visitor pointed to it.

“Ah! That, yes, well, I rarely open that,” said the professor.

Consumed with curiosity, the visitor said, “May I?”

The professor nodded reluctantly.

When the visitor opened the door he found a grandfather clock that had just struck 08:15.

The visitor stood confused for a moment before turning back, saying, “Sorry, but I can’t help asking. What’s it doing in here?”

The professor looked rather sheepish, he said, “That’s my backup.”

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