The insurance agent was sitting in his office telling his friend about the industry.
“I have to tell you, there are some real sharks out there. There was this one guy I heard about. This life insurance seller told this guy that he recommended that a policy should be taken out as soon as possible. The guy wasn’t too sure, so he says if he has any doubts his cousin does Astro Tarot Readings. He goes on a bit about what powerful stuff it is. The guy says he’d never heard of it. The salesman says no you wouldn’t have, it’s quite unique. He says he’ll make an appointment for him and he agrees. He says it’s a bit expensive, but worth it to be really sure.”
“Does he go for it?”
“You bet. He rocks up at the fortune teller’s house. First they do all the date stuff, you know, date of birth and so on. Then he has him lay out the cards in a certain order. Then he starts reading all this spooky stuff out.”
“Spooky?”
“Yeh, interpreting the cards. Anyway, in this particular case, all this ended up on the Internet.”
He fossicks around in one of his desk drawers and finds a piece of paper. He lays it on the desk and starts reading.
“It goes like this. The Chariot; that’s not moving, it’s just sitting there. The Empress; no signs of fertility or life found there. The Moon; a total mystery. The Hermit; there’s no meditation possible. The Lovers; definitely no passion or choice there. The Hanged Man; there’s no enlightenment in sight. The Magician; that’s in a complete state of inaction. Judgment; no new phases to come. Justice; a total lack of balance. The Emperor; shows as totally unstable. The World; total lack of attainment. Strength; that’s powerless and without courage. The High Priestess; the subconscious has been nullified. The Fool; no new beginnings found and a total abstinence of rules or regulations. The Tower; that has collapsed. Wheel of Fortune; no ups, only downs. The Star; only bad omens. The Devil; lot of destruction happening there. The Sun; no happiness on the horizon, in fact, there is no horizon. Death; something is definitely on its way, there.”
He sits back shaking his head.
“Of course, all the time he’s doing this he’s looking more and more worried. At the end, he says, ‘I’d be lying if I didn’t tell you it’s not looking at all good. OK. I’ll give it to you straight. In short, you haven’t got a future. Both the stars and the cards say that you will die suddenly within the next two or three days; four, if you’re lucky… but don’t bet on it. That’s what the guy tells him, or words to that effect.”
‘It’s that bad?’ the guy asks.
‘It is, I’m afraid. Let’s face it, you need to protect your family. Goodness! They could be left destitute!’ the guy says.
‘What do you recommend?’ he asks.
‘Insurance,’ says the guy.
“And did he?”
“Yep. Poor bugger took out a top end policy with heavy payments. Became a nervous wreck. Kicked out of the house. Lost his job. Lived until he was ninety seven, and died in his sleep… penniless.”