She was considering what can happen between the ‘hadn’t’ and the ‘wouldn’t’.
She came to the conclusion that sometimes there’s not much, and sometimes a great deal, between the ‘hadn’t’ and the ‘wouldn’t’. She was mumbling about this when the doctor entered the room. She had been unconscious for some time and he wasn’t sure how much sense she was making, but happy that she was coming out of it. There didn’t seem to be any worthwhile witnesses, other than the driver of the number 468 bus. She didn’t appear to be fully awake, but he decided that he would gain a better understanding of what had happened if he sat patiently and listened. He could add any pertinent information to her medical notes. He drew a chair up beside the bed.
She continued to mumble.
“If I hadn’t stayed out so late the night before, I wouldn’t have slept through my alarm. If I hadn’t stopped to load the washing machine this morning, I wouldn’t have been late leaving the house. If I hadn’t missed my regular number 468 bus, I wouldn’t have had to wait twenty minutes for the next one. If I hadn’t got to work late, I wouldn’t have missed my manager, who had to go out. If I hadn’t had to wait for his return, I wouldn’t have started processing the orders he wanted so late in the morning. If I hadn’t been so far behind with my work, I wouldn’t have had to work late to catch up. If I hadn’t been in such a rush to make up for lost time, I wouldn’t have made such a silly mistake. If I hadn’t printed the wrong paperwork off, I wouldn’t have been so late finally leaving the office. If I hadn’t got to my stop so late, I wouldn’t have missed the number 468 bus. If I hadn’t got impatient waiting for a taxi, I wouldn’t have walked home. If I hadn’t taken a short cut through the park, I wouldn’t have come across the stray dog. If I hadn’t felt sorry for it, I wouldn’t have tried to pat it. If I hadn’t disturbed what turned out to be such a savage dog, it wouldn’t have chased me. If I hadn’t been running so fast across the park, I wouldn’t have run out past the pavement. If I hadn’t been out in the middle of the road, I wouldn’t have been hit by the number 468 bus. If I hadn’t been knocked down by a bus, I wouldn’t have ended up in this hospital. If I hadn’t been laying here in this bed for such a long time, I wouldn’t have had the time to work all this out.”
She looked up at the doctor with a weak smile. “It’s all about what can happen between the ‘hadn’t’ and the ‘wouldn’t’, you see?”
He began to scribble.