Protocol

The man in the suit with a bright blue tie sat on the bench.

The park was emptying of lunch-time office workers who had come out into the sun to eat, mainly from plastic lunch boxes. The day was sunny and the man on the bench figured that this was an ideal spot for locals to get out of their offices for a while. He looked at his watch, then at the old lady he shared the bench with. She wasn’t eating but automatically dipping into a paper bag, feeding the birds. ‘Blue-tie’ hoped she would move off soon as his appointment had come and gone fifteen minutes ago.

 

He could see a figure in the distance, sitting on another bench reading a ‘newspaper’, or at least pretending to. He felt sure this was his contact. Several minutes later the old woman struggled to get up using a cane that he hadn’t noticed before. She moved away down the path very slowly and ‘blue-tie’ saw the other man fold his paper and get up. As the woman disappeared, the younger man with the ‘newspaper’ strolled across the wide stretch of lawn in what ‘blue-tie’ thought was an over-exaggerated nonchalance. ‘Blue-tie’ smiled and mumbled “New boy!”

‘Newspaper’ sat down, leaving a wide gap between them, looking straight ahead. Without turning his head ‘blue-tie’ said “I presume you are my one o’clock appointment?”

With his face still fixed on the park ‘newspaper’ said. “I am, and this was supposed to be an extremely urgent matter. Are you aware of the time?”

‘Blu-tie’ didn’t like his tone. “Of course; I was told that this was to be a Level A1 meeting”.

“In that case, why were you wasting time cosying up with that old bird-feeder?”

The older man smiled. “Now, there’s a term I haven’t heard for a while”. He cleared his throat and injected a little more authority into his voice. “It wasn’t a case of ‘cosying up’ as you put it. The old lady had a perfect right to sit here. As much right as you or I. No words were exchanged between us. Did you expect me to tell her to clear off because I had this top priority meeting with the man over there pretending to read a newspaper?”

‘Newspaper’ wriggled uncomfortably. “I’m sorry; this isn’t going well, is it?”

“No it’s not. In view of the fact that this was supposed to be an urgent Level A1 exchange between your department and mine, I think we should just get on with it. Do you agree?”

“Yes. I agree. In that case… the red flower is wilting” the man whispered.

“Pardon?”

“What do you mean pardon?”

“I mean pardon! I can’t hear you”.

‘Newspaper’ repeated “the red flower is wilting” a little louder.

“The red flower is what? For heaven’s sake man! We are sitting on a seat in a large park that is practically empty. Unless one of us is wired, something that is strictly forbidden by A1 protocol, there is nobody around to hear a word you are saying!” ‘Blue-tie’ wiggled his blue tie and stroked his hair back with his hands in a gesture of exasperation.

“Wilting”.

“What?”

“Wilting. The red flower is wilting”.

“Oh! right. OK. The red flower is wilting. In that case… the last man is back”.

‘Newspaper’ squirmed. “I’m sorry, but I didn’t quite get that”.

‘Blue-tie’ said “OK. The last man is back”, in a fairly loud voice, then checked his watch.

‘Newspaper’ said in an apologetic voice. “No. That’s not it”.

“What do you mean, not it?”

“That’s not the correct response”.

“You have to be kidding”.

“No. I’m not. I mean, I wouldn’t, kid about it I mean”.

‘Blue-tie’ sat quietly for a full minute. He was obviously the more experienced of the two, but he could see this situation could well become ugly; for both of them, but especially him.

In a quiet voice now, he said “Was I close?”

The other was silent for a while, then said “I can’t answer that. I mean I don’t know how to answer that. I don’t know what the protocol is for this situation”. He turned to face ‘blue-tie’ and went on “To be honest with you I haven’t had much experience at this. I’ve only done one of these before, and that was easy; an A3 in an airport. It was very quick; and like I said, very easy”.

“Well, my young colleague”, ‘blue-tie’ began “it does beg me to ask why they picked you for this one?”

“Football… Oh! I probably shouldn’t have said that. I should say that there was nobody else available when the Commander rang”.

The two men were now occasionally glancing at each other.

‘Blue-tie’ said, in a consoling tone “That’s OK. I understand; but you do realise that if I was close, that tells you something doesn’t it?”

‘Newspaper’ thought for a moment, and said “Well, yes, I suppose it does, logically”.

“OK then”, he paused “Was I close?”

“Yes, you were close”.

“Well now, as you know these things are not written down and when my Section Leader briefed me he gave me the line twice, slowly. Now, let me think”. He then said softly “The last man is back”.

“Pardon?”

“No. Just talking to myself. How about this; the last man is black?” He looked at the other who was shaking his head. “How about; the last van is black?” Head still shaking. “The last van is back?” Shake. “Oh! Wait a minute… fast… fast… the fast van is back!”

“Yes!” ‘Newspaper’ raised his hands, as if to clap, then changed his mind and lowered them slowly. “Yes. Thank you”.

“Thank goodness! What’s the message?”

“I’ve been asked to tell you that; big fish is in custardy and is being held at safe house eleven”.

“OK. I am repeating; big fish is in custardy and is being held at safe house eleven”.

“Correct; and following the message I am supposed to state again that this is a Level A1 urgent exchange”. ‘Newspaper’ looked at ‘blue-tie’ with a question in his eyes.

“Don’t worry. It was the old bird-feeder’s fault”.

“What do you mean – her fault?”

“Well, how late did she make us?”

“I’d say about twenty minutes”.

“Right; well, I’ve just doubled the size of her paper bag, and that means she held us up by forty minutes. After all, this is a dedicated exchange point isn’t it?”

“Yes, of course”.

‘Blue-tie’ said “I’ll get this back to my section pronto. Give me a few minutes before you move”.

‘Newspaper’ said “Good to meet you”.

‘Blue-tie’ said “Likewise”, got up and walked briskly away.

‘Newspaper’ sat watching him go, until he was completely out of sight. That was the protocol, and the protocol for a Level A1 was strict; very strict indeed.

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