From day one, she didn’t like his cat.
She thought it was fat and lazy. She tried to stroke it a couple of times, but it just hissed at her. On the other hand, he was very fond of it. He’d had it from the time it was a starving kitten. It had been abandoned, just a scraggy tom cat mooching around the neighbourhood streets. He saw it several times, most times it was looking for food around the dumpsters behind the cafe. Eventually, he took it in and fed it. It had been his companion ever since. It was very affectionate and he couldn’t imagine getting rid of it.
The whole thing came to a head one evening. He was sitting in the lounge reading when she stormed in.
He looked up from his newspaper. “What now?”
“It’s your cat, that’s what!”
He closed his eyes and shook his head. “OK. What’s he done?”
“He peed on my best jumper! Want to smell it?” She held it up. “No, I didn’t think so. It smells absolutely disgusting. I’ve no idea how I’m going to get the stink out.”
He said, “Wow! That’s amazing.”
Her face reddened. “Why is that amazing?”
“Because he’s never done that on any bit of clothing I’ve left out. In fact, he usually curls up on it and goes to sleep.”
At this, she balled the jumper up and threw it at him. It missed.
She put her hands on her hips and said, “That’s it! You really have to choose now, because one of us has to go!”
He looked at the cat, curled up on the rug and frowned.
He got up and went to the cupboard under the stairs, took the shoebox down from the top shelf and opened it.
He returned to the lounge and shot her.