Bar

A man and a duck and a dwarf and a penguin and a grasshopper walked into a bar.

The dwarf had the duck tucked under his arm. The man cradled the penguin in his arms as though he was holding a baby. The grasshopper was having fun jumping from the man’s shoulder to the dwarf’s shoulder and back again.

The duck had recently escaped from a farm where it was about to be purchased by a local restaurant, where it’s Cordon Bleu chef was preparing to create his famous Duck A L’orange dish, to be served to the town’s Lord Mayor and his lady, who were celebrating their fiftieth wedding anniversary. Being now something of a fugitive on the run, he was grateful for the dwarf’s protection and friendship.

The dwarf was a permanent part of a circus crew that travelled extensively with a highly prestigious show. As a result of being blessed with such regular employment he was never short of money, and as a result felt sure that he was going to be called upon to pay for the drinks.

The man, having been a reluctant eye witness at a major crime scene, was now part of a witness protection program that had gone horribly wrong the day he found out that the woman he was dating turned out to be the sister of the only member of the crime syndicate that didn’t receive a custodial sentence at the trial’s conclusion.

The penguin was only along for the ride, as he had been visiting a great variety of establishments for some considerable time looking for his long lost male twin. He was finding it difficult on account of the negative responses he was continually receiving when giving his brother’s description.

The grasshopper, whose name just happens to be George, was not fond of entering these places because of the peculiar and wholly inaccurate comments he heard from those employed to serve behind their counters. He was mystified by their strange insistence, repeatedly telling him that they had a drink named after him, although he had never heard of a drink named George.

They were a curious bunch to be sure.

They all went up to the bar.

Somewhat relieved, the barman said, “Sorry, I called time five minutes ago, I’m afraid you’ll have to leave.”

They left.

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