Ancient Technical Support

Technical support problems go back a long way.

They date back to before the communication and industrial revolutions. In fact, to a time when primitive tribesmen beat out a rhythm on a drum as a primary means of remote communication and fire was a new technology.

The following conversation took place, back in the mists of time, as a primitive one-man technical support operative enters the cave of Ug.

Technical Support says: “This ‘Fire Help’, me Groog.”

Ug says: “Me Ug. Help. Fire not work. Feet cold.”

Technical Support: “You have flint and stone?”

Ug: “Ugh.”

Technical Support: “You hit them together?”

Ug: “Ugh.”

Technical Support: “You bang them together real hard?”

Ug: “Ugh. Lots hard. Ug bang thumb twice!”

Technical Support: “What happen?”

Ug: “Thumb go red. Lots of pain shooting up arm. Me get dizzy and…”

Technical Support: “No. No. What happen? What happen when Ug bang flint and stone together?”

Ug: “Fire not work. Feet cold.”

Technical Support: (sigh) “Make spark?”

Ug: “No spark, no fire, me confused. Feet cold. Fire work yesterday.”

Technical Support: (sigh) “You change rock?”

Ug: “Me no change rock”

Technical Support: “You change flint?”

Ug: “Ug change nothing.”

Technical Support: “You sure?”

Ug: “Me make one change. Stone hot, so me soak in stream so stone not burn Ug hand. Small change. It no can keep Ug from making fire. Feet cold.”

Technical Support: (big sigh) “Me take stone away and fix.”

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