He was leaving, he’d simply had enough.
They had told him he could pull through if he really wanted to. They had told him that; the doctors, the nurses, even the orderly in the elevator as he was being wheeled back to his room. But the truth was he no longer wanted any of it. In fact, he’d rather leave it all behind. They wouldn’t understand that, would they? No, not a chance. After all, it was their job to keep all these people going; keep them alive. It was their mission, the motivation that kept them all there. He’d lost count of the number of times he’d been back in a place like this. He wasn’t in pain. Not at all. Just existing with inoperable issues was his lot. He was far from being a candidate for euthanasia. Not at all. Many of those around him were far more deserving of that.
He’d seen enough, heard enough, smelled all he wanted to smell. He’d experienced a lifetime of watching children grow up, moving house, losing loved ones, taking holidays, watching movies, reading poetry, listening to concerts, planting seedlings, looking at the stars, attending church and swimming in pools… All this had to go. He could slip away quietly in the night. He’d leave it all behind. He’d take nothing with him. Others could stay and enjoy it all; the walks through well-tended parks with their ponds and their flowerbeds, the concerts with orchestras made up of wonderfully talented musicians, all playing in harmony, the vacations in the sun with waiters serving by the pool, and the art galleries, wonderful museums and exhibitions. All those wonderful places; He would leave them all for others to enjoy.
Is it all right to simply have had enough of it all? He thought so. He wished he could explain all this to others, with the hope that they would understand. These next few hours would pass quickly enough. There would be no fuss with his leaving. When they found him in the morning he would look peaceful.
He was sure of that.
