Patients

The visitor walked through the ward slowly.

The nurse was pointing at a bed containing a young girl. “That’s the Muffet girl, she was eating breakfast when something spooked her. Whatever it was she started running. Gave herself such bad indigestion she was admitted for tests. She’s OK. She’ll be going home tomorrow.”

They moved on. “That’s Mister Jones from the bakery. Apparently he got a rush order for a cake. Burnt himself badly in the rush, as you can see by all his bandages.

At the next bed, she pointed. “She had to be rescued. Found at the bottom of a cliff when she didn’t come home. She lost some sheep she was supposed to be looking after. Despite being told they would turn up eventually, she kept searching, in the dark. Silly girl really, but her bones should set all right.”

Moving on she said, “That’s Mrs Hubbard, terribly bad case of malnutrition. They couldn’t save the dog, I’m afraid.”

Next bed. “This lad was trying to rescue a cat from a well when he fell in himself. Nothing broken; he’ll be fine.”

The nurse paused, shaking her head. “As far as we can make out, the old woman over there was actually living in a shoe with a large number of children that she wasn’t feeding properly. To make matters worse, she would beat them at bedtime. Apparently, they all turned on her and she ended up here in emergency. She faces child abuse charges when she gets out.”

The visitor exclaimed, “My word! I must say, you do seem to have a strange collection here.”

The nurse replied, “What else would you expect to find in the Nursery Land Hospital?”

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