As hobbies go, it was harmless enough, until he hit on the formula that is.
For more than two decades he’d been mixing up and enjoying his own jars of relish. He’d always loved the stuff, using it to perk up some of the plainer foods like bread and butter, water biscuits and his favourite, rice cakes. Over the years his list of ingredients grew from half a dozen to more than two dozen items, some of which he bought while others came from his small garden. He was always experimenting with different quantities, ratios and combinations, so that any batch he produced was different from any other.
On the occasion in question he had been in the kitchen for more than an hour, stirring a bowl of thick sauce made up of tomatoes, spring onions, capsicum, apricot and pomegranate, all being mixed with lime juice, apple cider vinegar and olive oil. This was added to with sultanas, orange pieces, corn kernels and dates. The coriander, chilli powder, curry powder and dry mustard came next. Finally, like every other ingredient used, carefully measured amounts of brown sugar, ground black pepper and sea salt were sprinkled in. During this time, the stirring had not stopped and he was glad to finally pull up a chair and just sit staring into his creation. He was sure he would get three jars out of this batch.
Then, walking across to the cupboard, he did something quite unexpected. He opened up, and after gazing along the several rows of herbs and spices, took out three at random and added them willy-nilly to the mix. So haphazard was this last minute addition, that he didn’t even add the items to his current recipe. Had he realised at the time that he had created the strongest loved potion known to mortal man, he would have updated his notes.
The full awareness of what this spread was capable of bringing about, didn’t come to his attention until the young couple that rented the house across the road stopped by for a cuppa and some of his famous relish. Within minutes they were holding hands under the table and simply couldn’t stop smiling at one another. The fact that they got married on the following weekend seemed to clinch it. However, it took a visit from his spinster aunt a few days later to remove all doubt. After helping herself to liberal portions of his topping she left with a spring in her step and called two days later to say that she and her widowed neighbour were flying to Paris and would probably marry there.
When he received an email saying that his girlfriend would be back from her exploration company’s three-week field trip late the following afternoon, he set about tidying the house and preparing an evening meal. Naturally, he put out a plate of her favourite crackers, with a small tureen of relish next to it. He was really looking forward to seeing her; it had been a long time for them to be apart.
When the time came, he heard her opening the front door. He jumped up and crossed to the cupboard. He put the container of unique garnish back in the cupboard and took down an earlier batch.
He just couldn’t do it…