She found him in the living room immersed in the Sunday paper.
She stood in the doorway for a while. He pretended not to notice. He knew what she was about to say and was secretly enjoying the moment. He looked up. “Did you want something Honey?”
She bobbed her head around and said “You know what next week is, don’t you?”
He frowned and said “Next week? Let me think; local elections? No that’s too soon thank the Lord.” He wiggled his eyebrows.
“Oh! Come on. Stop playing around. You know it’s Christmas.”
“Oh! Really?”
“Yes really. What do you want?”
He took on a painful grimace and she sighed. “It’s always the same, I never know what to get you; and you don’t exactly help.”
He shook his head smiling. “Not this time Honey, I’ve got a list.”
“You’ve got a list! I don’t believe it.”
He sniggered and dug into his back pocket bringing out a folded sheet of paper.
Impressed, she sat down attentively, saying “OK. Let’s hear it.”
Unfolding it carefully he cleared his throat and read.
“I want the dog across the road to stop barking at night.”
“I want the government to bring in a two day week.”
“I want someone in authority to explain simply what superannuation is.”
“I want all of the parking meters in town ripped out.”
“I want Jim Bromley brought back from the dead so he can repay the 163 dollars he owes me.”
“I want to be several years younger.”
“I want politicians to stop telling lies.”
“I want everybody in the world to have one square meal a day.”
“I want to live forever.”
“I want all the governments in the world to ban wars, either that or a new pair of slippers.”
She started “Well, I’m not sure about…”
He interrupted her. “No. Don’t tell me anything. Surprise me!”