The two men were bent over their screens writing blurbs for the advertising agency.
Without warning, a great clap of thunder shook the building and made the office widows rattle as though they might shatter and fall apart. They both got up and went to a window.
“Crikey!” said Brian, the younger man. “There was nothing on the forecast about this was there?”
“Not that I saw,” said Tom, the senior writer for the company. “Look at that front coming in. We are in for some rough weather by the look of it. How strange! I bet nobody in this building brought an umbrella today.” They both smiled at the thought and sat back at their desks as the rain started to pound the building.
“Of course, you weren’t in yesterday,” said Tom, “I bet you can’t guess who turned up here out of the blue.”
“Go on.”
“Archie.”
“Archie?”
“The very man. Came rushing in here, as though he’d been invited! Sat right there and went on about his latest creation.”
“Glad I missed that,” said Brian.
“I know, he was very excited about the preface he had written for the Editing Manual that he’s been working on. You know, the one he’s been putting together for… well, for goodness knows how long! I can only think that the people he’s working for must be extremely patient.”
Brian shook his head. “Did you find out what this masterpiece was?”
“Oh! More than that, he brought a thick folder full of typed A4 pages with him. He sat reading it for a while, then handed me a copy of it; as though I would actually ever want to read it!”
“Really?”
“Really, do you want to hear his preface?”
“Sure.”
Tom opened his desk and drew out the heavy buff folder, packed with sheets of paper. He sorted through then held one up to read.
“This is what he wrote,” said Tom with a condescending grin on his face.
‘Just about any person who finds themselves confronted by the task of editing another person’s written material will undoubtedly have considerations about its quality, and at times, its relevance. However, it stands to reason, albeit a self-serving one, that someone actually wants the work done and is therefore prepared to pay for it. It could be construed as something of a moral dilemma for an editor, when viewing such tendered material, material that may very well leave such an editor with an unwavering sense of professional disdain.’
Brian sat wide-eyed for a while then asked, “Did he really write that?”
The other nodded. “He certainly did.”
Brian gazed out the office window into the darkening sky and pelting rain. “That,” he said “as a preface to a manual, is just about as surprising as this storm. Why would he dwell on anything that negative at the beginning of the manual?”
“Beats me; because I hadn’t seen it coming, I had a job keeping a straight face. He seemed so enthusiastic about the whole thing; so I was being careful not to upset him; but he pushed.”
“Pushed?”
“Yes, you know. What did I think of it? …and how he would appreciate my professional opinion.”
“Oh! No! What did you say?”
“Well, it was all rather awkward, as you may well imagine. I figured that I should be honest in the nicest possible way… not to hurt his feelings, you understand.”
“Sure, what did you say?”
“I said that because I was unprepared for what he had read, I found it to be somewhat unexpected.”
“Right. What did he say?”
“He said he thought that was an unusual word to use. He looked pretty upset, and his face started to go red. But to be honest, I was getting tired of the whole business; you know, his unannounced visit, his weird preface, now him quizzing me because he didn’t like my answer.”
“What happened?”
“Well, he asked me what my understanding of the word unexpected was.” Tom pulled a face. “I probably shouldn’t have…” he paused.
Brian said “Go on.”
“OK. I said that for me the unexpected was getting a puncture, or having a bird swoop past my face, or getting to the end of a puzzle and finding a piece missing, or having an ambulance start up its siren right behind me, or finding money in one of my old trouser pockets. I added that the last one would probably be my favourite. I probably shouldn’t have said that; but hey! I was really fed up with the guy.”
Brian raised his eyebrows and shook his head. “Wow! I bet he was mad.”
“That’s the funny thing. He wasn’t! He just sat staring at his folder. He finally looked up at me. Ï started to apologise, or at least I think that’s what I was doing, when he suddenly got all excited and started to rabbit on about how important a glossary was and that he was sure he had got that one covered. I asked him what he meant, but he just kept telling me to hang on while he sorted through his paperwork.”
Tom went back to the folder now lying on his desk.
“Do you want to know what he read out to me?”
“Of course,” replied Brian, leaning forward with obvious interest.
Tom lifted out a page. “Here it is; part of the glossary for Archie’s manual. I quote.”
‘The Unexpected – The unexpected, albeit a common enough occurrence in the life of an Editor, is not generally predicted because if it was it wouldn’t be unexpected. This goes a long way to explaining why people don’t usually look out for or anticipate the unexpected. The unscheduled nature of the unexpected may well result in either a pleasant or an unpleasant surprise. Since the prospect of an unexpected event is most unlikely, this author is of the opinion that this sort of thing should remain the subject of random chance.’
Brian sat with his mouth open, coming to terms with what he had heard, but for the moment quite unable to comment.
Tom said, “Well? What do you think?”
The other wiggled his shoulders and rolled his head, as if trying to wake up. He said “Crikey, I don’t know what to think! Tell me; what did you say?”
Tom smiled and said, “I just told him it was unexpected!”