He lay in bed, wondering.
For some reason he felt it necessary to think back over his life. He thought about his losses. First, his wife to pancreatic cancer, then his boy, running after a ball that had rolled out into the busy road. Losses and gains. He considered the company he had built and the solid reputation it had gained over the years. Losses and gains. Everybody has them, but each person sets the balance, and to some degree controls the unravelling of events, determines the balance of losses and gains. He remembers the early beginnings. In a way, like most people he’d started with nothing. He guessed that you’d have to say he made slow progress with his business at first. He had borrowings and a lot of hard work. Slowly and little by little he built it up. Over time, the business became solid with regular orders and a staff of five.
He was weighing it all up. He remembered the opening of the second store. That was a busy time. Taking on more people and buying the vehicle. He thought about how much more time he had to spend with the bank and his accountant. Keeping track of finances took up more and more of his time as the firm expanded. It took careful planning when the warehouse and further store became part of the operation. There were so many commercial decisions to make and so many more on the payroll. But, he had managed it all. Had succeeded in monitoring and controlling the growth of it in the marketplace. He was weighing it all up. Losses and gains.
He looked up from the bed. It was a good hospital, he knew that. All of his ailments came down to old age, he knew that too. He closed his eyes; he had weighed enough.
